Oct 12
Tattoo Machine: Tall Tales, True Stories, and My Life in Ink
Posted on Monday, October 12, 2009 in Tattoo Information
ReviewKatherine Dunn Reviews Tattoo Machine Katherine Dunn is the author of three novels, Attic, Truck, and Geek Love, which was a finalist for the National Book Award. Read her guest review of Jeff Johnson’s Tattoo Machine: The topic is prickly, but Tattoo Machine is a charmer. Jeff Johnson is a sharp-eyed master tattoo artist, and an extraordinary writer. His own remarkable story of up-from-under redemption weaves through this engaging, gritty, and meticulous exam…
Buy Tattoo Machine: Tall Tales, True Stories, and My Life in Ink at Amazon
It would be easy to dismiss this book as another attempt at cashing in on the current “ink” craze, but Tattoo Machine: Tall Tales, True Stories, and My Life in Ink, isn’t so easily set aside.
Written in staccato, dark, punchy language that reminds of Anthony Bourdain or maybe even a little Chuck Palahniuk, Tattoo machine isn’t an expose of the industry or even a straight-forward memoir. Instead, it is something hovering somewhere in between, peppered as it is with advice, a guide to the lingo of the tattoo world, and stories – some the authors own and some that are not – that will grab you. I found myself reading this book as I ate lunch and sneaking it in during breaks from work, a sure sign that a book is an enjoyable read, and this one is.
Jeff Johnson doesn’t attempt to paint himself as a tough guy (as I unfairly expected) or to create an idealized version of the tattoo world, he readily admits to his flaws, is honest about the ugly side of tattooing and is careful about his depictions – something that is lacking in some of the other tattoo books out there.
However, what truly sets this book apart from other books about tattooing is the writing. Jeff Johnson’s style is easy to read, engaging and vivid and you feel as though you are along for a strange ride down some neon-lit highway, loud music ricocheting inside the car, while your driver half-shouts stories over the roar of the road and the stereo. If sex, drugs, blood and vomit turn you off, don’t read this. But, if you are like me, and you have always wondered what goes through the mind of that person digging a needle into your flesh, or what goes on after you leave the shop, you must read this book. As your driver on this journey, Jeff Johnson has you in capable hands.
Jeff Johnson’s Tattoo Machine is a shotgun blast, a burst of high velocity vignettes, micro-essays, brain benders, eroticism, profanity, romance, and yes, fascinating information about the history and current state of tattooing in the U.S. and internationally.
Tattooing, that unique art form in which living skin is used as the canvas, hooks the imagination of almost all of us. In all its forms, from the gangster’s tear drops tattooed on the face, the white supremacist’s lightning bolts, the Semper Fi of the Marine, the sublime total body underwater garden scenes, the optimistically emblazoned names of lovers, the intricately carved (and very painful!) Maori and Polynesian patterns, the appeal of making a permanent statement with one’s own skin is nearly universal. And if Tattoo Machine was ONLY about tattooing, it would succeed wonderfully. But Tattoo Machine is about much more than that, and its value to the reader is correspondingly so much higher.
For those readers predominantly into tattooing, you’ll have a blast. The history of tattooing in the United States, its current evolution into a highly creative and personalized art form that requires consultations rather than choosing from pre-drawn flash, the review of industry related vocabulary (a tattoo on a woman’s small of her back is called a tramp stamp), the discussion of what part of the body people choose to have tattooed (the professional woman that comes in to have flames tattooed on the shaved/waxed part of her body that is named after Venus), the FAQ’s of tattooing, and the current technology used….it’s all there. Included is the advice to always check the bathroom of the tattoo parlor that you are considering doing business with.
For readers that have a broader than dermatological interest in what life is all about, grab this book, settle into your favorite reading spot, and get ready for a roller-coaster ride through this amusement park that we call human life. I’ve always found it arresting when an animal (usually canine, sometimes feline, and occasionally human) has two different colored eyes. I don’t know what color eyes Jeff Johnson has, but his perspective on life is as if he inherited one of his eyes from Epictetus (the Greek philosopher/Roman slave, author of Enchiridion) and his other eye from Hunter Thompson (Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas). The cerebral and scatological are often contained in one sentence, and the book is the more powerful and fascinating for it. Jeff Johnson’s voice is that of a Renaissance man, spoken with eloquence and inflected with raunch and profanity. Not possible? Read it, and get back to me.
There is a love story in Tattoo Machine, brief and potent in its description, durable and enviable in its quality.
Oscar Wilde said “We’re all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars”. I suspect that Jeff Johnson and Oscar Wilde, had they met in a bar, would still be laughing uproariously as dawn broke. If you pick this book up and turn the first page too late at night, you might end up doing the same thing.
Jeff Johnson’s memoir is a collection of short, mostly-factual stories about his life as a Portland, Oregon-based tattoo artist. Although he is now wildly successful, it wasn’t always this way; many of his vignettes describe the period before he found success. He discusses insider’s tips on what to look for in a quality tattoo shop (for those interested in getting inked) and offers his theory on why people choose to get tattoos. He delves into some of his craziest drug- and alcohol-induced adventures, his most memorable clients and coworkers (good and bad), bits and pieces of his childhood, and his feelings on the future of the tattoo industry. For the most part, the stories aren’t related to each other, but the thread that unites them is the fact that they either led to or happened as a result of his career.
Johnson’s writing style is engaging, blatantly honest, totally uncensored, and even charming — like talking to a close, trusted friend who casually drops the F-bomb now and then and isn’t afraid to describe anything, as long as it benefits his audience in some way. Many of his stories are downright funny, some are scary as hell, and still others are heartwarming and sensitive. All are captivating. Johnson says in the introduction that after reading his book, you may not want to get a tattoo from him, but I disagree: his honesty is endearing, and it allows you to trust him. I don’t know if I’d want to get a tattoo from someone who wasn’t willing to tell me everything Johnson did!
The most notable aspect of Johnson’s writing is his use of vivid metaphorical imagery when setting the scene or describing complex emotional undercurrents, which makes perfect sense coming from someone who sees the world in a way far different than most people do. His images are wild, colorful, bizarre, and unearthly at times. For instance, he describes competition wars between tattoo shops as happening across “radioactive, crater-pocked fields of salt, through wrecked urban landscapes decorated with nuclear flash-point carbon shadows and populated by wild zombie dogs.” Nonsensical? Almost. But imagine that description as a tattoo, and you realize that he has just brilliantly conveyed his intended mindscape to the reader.
As a feminist and a vegan, I raised an eyebrow only twice when reading this book. The first instance was when Johnson said that “vegans tend to pass out” when getting inked — I just had to chuckle and roll my eyes at this, as it’s simply not true. The second instance was when he referred to one particularly nasty woman as a c***, although he knows full well that the term is sexist when flung as an insult. The reader will easily forgive this as Johnson champions good quality female tattoo artists, is always careful to say “guys and gals,” and never limits his definition of a good tattoo artist to men. Another reviewer mentioned that Johnson generally describes women in “unflattering” ways, but I didn’t find this to be the case at all (with that one exception). His stories feature valiant heros and conniving enemies of both sexes, and he describes them equitably in positive, neutral, and/or negative light. He is *never* chauvinistic. If anything, Johnson is the most vicious in describing the men he has encountered!
Overall, I really enjoyed this book and finished it leisurely in a matter of days. Readers who dislike profanity, drinking, drugs, nudity, sex, and the occasional lurid story probably won’t enjoy this book very much. But those who are genuinely interested in an honest, engaging behind-the-scenes account of the life of a tattoo artist will love this unconventional memoir. I plan to buy a copy for several of my close friends. Recommended!